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Category: Life

What Empathy Is and What It Is Not

I went hiking with a friend a few weeks ago and learned a lot about empathy. I learned a lot about it from myself, who was not being very empathetic. My friend was sharing a really hard thing with me and I kept chiming in with examples from my own life. Something deep down inside of me was saying, “Stop doing that. You’re not helping.” But I couldn’t. I just kept sharing my own stories, diminishing and quieting hers. I really was trying to be a good friend. I was trying to be an empathetic friend, but what…

Turning 30 and My “Secret Soul”

This summer, I turned 30. In the weeks and days leading up to the big 3-0, I began to feel very contemplative about my life. Where have I been? What have I done? Where am I going? That kind of thing. I was also in a hard spot work-wise. I needed more hours but felt paralyzed in my pursuit of them. What types of things do I want to write? Who do I want to write for? What kind of writer do I want to be? I wasn’t sure, and I was spinning my wheels. I needed…

Tell Me the Truth

  A few weeks ago my mom reminded me of Psalm 91. I was anxious, and I knew a lot of my anxiety was of the irrational type. I’ve talked about anxiety a little bit on my blog before, but not in great detail. I think mostly because I’m not quit sure how to write about anxiety yet. Everyone’s experience with it is so different, and I don’t want to demean or diminish or misconstrue such an important and difficult thing. I know for me, anxiety is sometimes expected—like when I have a book deadline…

My “Racist Tones”

I remember seeing an Instagram post a couple of weeks after the announcement that a grand jury had decided to not bring criminal charges against Darren Wilson, the police officer who shot and killed Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, on August 9, 2014. The post was written by Andy Merrick—a white Instagram user. It said: “There are racist tones Hidden away in these bones Depart from me, sin.” I have not forgotten it since. Racism comes in many forms and perhaps one of the most dangerous is the subtle kind—the racist tones. They’re not hostile. They’re…

Who to Share Your Dreams With and When

I’m learning that I can’t tell everyone everything. For a long time, my habit has been to gather opinions from everyone around me when I’m making a decision or going through a difficult time and need some guidance. I remember when I started dating a guy a few weeks before Valentine’s Day. As February 14 approached, he told me he would rather not make a big deal of the holiday–too much pressure, too soon. I sort of understood his reasoning and tried not to read too much into it. However, the next day…

What to Do When You’re On the Verge of Quitting (+ a book giveaway!)

The winners of the giveaway are…. Nicki Kennington! Erika! Diane Sanchez! Send me a message via my contact page with your mailing address, please! Thanks everyone for entering. I loved reading your comments!   It’s been one of those months where I’ve wanted to quit all the things. Have you been there? Big stuff is brewing in your life, hard stuff. It’s heavy and all over you, to the point that the tiniest thing will set you off. If one more person cuts me off in traffic, I am going to absolutely lose it. For me…

The Difference Between Change and Transition and Why It Matters for Your Life

I was reading a book on a plane the other day called Change Your Trajectory by Bishop Dale C. Bronner. This isn’t the type of book I expected to make me cry, but it did. As soon as I read this: “Transition is a terribly uncomfortable place for you to be in your life. You will start hurting and not even understand where; you’ll think, I’ve never hurt like this before. I’ve never dealt with these kinds of problems. I’ve never been at this point in my life before.” There is someone about a writer…

If I Were a Spiritual Guide on The Bachelorette (Episode 3)

I’ve been a pretty faithful viewer of ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette since 2009, Jillian’s season. Some of you who have been reading this blog for a while might even remember The Bachelor Audition of 2011. Something I more often than not wish I could forget. I watch The Bachelor because I live in America, and it is my right to zone out for two hours a week and watch trashy (ok, not always trashy, I’m a big Sean and Catherine fan) TV and drink wine with my friends. On episode three last night, we…

Six Tips for Navigating Your Twenties (+ a Giveaway!)

Winners of the All Groan Up giveaway are… Leslie Wood Beverly Vance Missy Mutchnik Send me your address via my contact page or PM. CONGRATULATIONS! A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about an article I had read that inspired me to embrace this unknown season of life I’m in, rather than run from it. I tweeted about the article and because social media, I ended up virtually meeting the author, Paul Angone. Turns out, Paul has just written a book all about navigating the shaky, weird decade that is your twenties. The book is All Groan…

When Life Is Shaky, Weird and Hard, But Good at the Same Time

    I’ve moved a lot since college. Almost every year in fact. From apartment to house to condo to another house. It’s the typical transient life of the twenty-something, I suppose. Though I leave a lot behind when I move—clothes, old picture frames, dishes I don’t want anymore—one thing I’ve carried with me to each new residence is a painting I bought in Paris when I was studying abroad as a junior in college. I bought it near the Seine, where vendor after vendor lines up to sell cheap artwork, postcards, calendars…