The Devastating Effects of People-Pleasing

  by Sharon R. Hoover *** “Sure, I can be there.” Ugh, I did it again. With my undiagnosed-people-pleasing nod, I agreed to help with another event on campus. It’s not that the outreach was wrong but the screams of an overbooked schedule reminded me of my limitations. Although college was three decades ago, I…

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Introducing: Notes to Your Younger Self

What is an aspect of your faith that you struggled with in your past? Was it doubt, people-pleasing, trust? If you could go back to your younger self who struggled with those things, what would you tell her? What have you learned since then? What has God taught you? What have others taught you? What…

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“At the Well”

It’s Friday night. I’ve been working and what I really want to do is lie down and binge watch West Wing. But instead I am here, typing. I just listened straight through Bethany Barnard’s new album three times in a row. The fifth song is called “At the Well.” It has a sort of haunting…

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The Name Jesus. The Word Love.

Perhaps what has brought me hope these last few weeks is seeing people come together. An election that has made many groups feel as if they’ve been voted against as someone else was voted for, we have linked arms in a necessary kind of way, vowing to stand up for each other and remember that…

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The Opposite of Fear Is Not Courage

A few months ago I had a week full of fear related to my work. I felt overwhelmed, andthe thoughts running through my head looked something like this: “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “This is too much.” “I need to just find another job.” “I’m not going to be able to fulfill everyone’s expectations.” You…

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Between the Wish and the Thing

There’s this quote from All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy that has been totally haunting me this year: “Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting.” Have truer words ever been written? That sentence is a bit glum on first reading. A lot of the things McCarthy writes are glum, but as…

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He’s Not the One Who Got Away

This phrase has been running around my head lately: He’s not the one who got away. Did you catch that “not” I slid in there? I thought about it one night when I was cooking and listening to the Civil Wars. Their song “The One that Got Away” came on and got me thinking. The song…

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When You Realize You’re the Pharisee

Often when I read stories in the Bible about Jesus, I consider myself one of his disciples in the story, and I consider the Pharisees my enemies. But in reading a story in Matthew recently, I realized the reverse was true. Matthew 12 begins with Jesus and the disciples walking through some cornfields on the…

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What’s Really Killing Your Spiritual Life?

What is the death of the church and the Christian life? I heard a pastor ask that this week, and his answer caused me to do an out-loud “hmm” – something I’m not prone to do in congregational settings, unless it’s really good. He didn’t say the death of the Christian life is not enough…

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Our Jobs, Our Calling, The Fall

I just came off a weekend with some wonderful people: my little sister, Sara, and her fiancé (my future brother-in-law!), Jeff. We talked about many things and of course at some point the conversation turned to our callings in work, as it often does when you are a group of twenty somethings. I think the…

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