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It’s been one of those months where I’ve wanted to quit all the things. Have you been there? Big stuff is brewing in your life, hard stuff. It’s heavy and all over you, to the point that the tiniest thing will set you off.
If one more person cuts me off in traffic, I am going to absolutely lose it.
For me, work and writing have been the hard stuff. Writing is usually hard, but it feels particularly hard right now, and I’ve wanted to quit. Because this is what I do when things feel hard. I want to quit them, and then I decide I need to quit everything else too. Work…people…America. It’s a quick spiral.
Tell me you’ve been there. Tell me I am not crazy in my occasional bouts of quitting-it-all.
I recently started reading Annie Downs’ new book Looking for Lovely. In it, she talks about her struggles with being a quitter. She writes, “I’ve never been good at looking past my current pain or suffering and trusting that it will pay off in the future. I think the road has always seemed too long. So when a situation feels painful or scary or hard, I want out.”
Me too, Annie, me too.
I hate feeling uncomfortable, so my default is to try to escape what’s making me uncomfortable. Over the past two years, though, God has been gently teaching me what it looks like to “sit in the tension.” Instead of running away, sit still and wait. Keep moving forward. Try not to freak out, and trust.
Good things happen in the tension.
I was sharing some of my tension and desire to quit with a friend the other day. She said something very simple that I really needed to hear: “The moment you start feeling like you’re going to quit, don’t.”
Just don’t. Back away from the quitting ledge and keep walking, however slowly, however slumped over, just keep going.
That’s what I’ve decided to do in this season of quitting-it-all. You’ll see me beside the road. I’ll be the one walking a little slowly, my shoulders might be a little slumped over, but I’ll be going in the right direction. And trust me, that’s better than running in the wrong one.
To celebrate not quitting, I’m doing a giveaway of Annie’s book! You know the drill…
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You have until this Saturday, April 16 to enter. Good luck!