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Category: Relationships

The Importance of Grieving Everything

A friend of my sister’s once told her you must grieve everything. Anytime you have to say goodbye to something, someone or some place, grieve it. When you’re in a transitional phase in life, like say, your twenties and maybe your thirties too, this can mean a lot of goodbyes. To things like: college, your first job, your apartment, your hometown, another town, another job and before after and in between, relationships. Lots of relationships in all forms. People are in and out of your life before you can blink and get their phone number. So when you…

Going Home and the Hills that Greet Me

A weekend spent in the city I grew up in is always a string of hours spent remembering the things I had forgotten about home. This time it was the weather so characteristic of a south Texas summer. The dry heat and triple digit temperatures were something I took for granted until recently. I say took for granted because blistering hot and desert dry summers are truly a unique gift, only realized once you move somewhere like Tennessee that seems to have endless rainy summer days and a humidity that actually makes my body swell when I leave the house…

Why Do We Love Those Who Don't Love Us Back? Part II

A little over two years ago I wrote a post entitled Why Do We Love Those Who Don’t Love Us Back? It is consistently my most-read post. When I visit my handy dandy WordPress dashboard, that tells me I haven’t written a blog post in months and 14 people viewed it last Tuesday, I see that one of the most common search terms bringing people to English Lessons is a variation of that question: Why do I love someone who doesn’t love me back? This has fascinated me for these past two years. People Google that…

The Ones Who Help Me Figure Me Out

I know these people. But I’m having a hard time finding words to describe them. They came to visit me this weekend. Five of us all together. I had never realized how small my apartment was nor how few bathrooms I had (one). But around these other four, personal space is not usually a luxury. And that’s just fine. To describe these people as girlfriends, old college roommates, besties…none of that really works. Who they really are are the ones who walked alongside me for four years as I tried to figure myself out…

How to Make Friends

I recently returned from a weekend at the seaside. I am a beach gal, though my fair skin hates me for it. And this weekend at the beach not only reminded me of my love for lying on a mound of sand and doing absolutely nothing for hours; it also reminded me of my love for lying on a mound of sand and doing absolutely nothing with friends I have come to know and who have come to know me. Friends I can be me around no matter how stinky me happens to be at the moment. I was not…

Is It Ok to "Pray for Your Future Spouse"?

A question that’s been rolling around over the past three days. Probably because I was in two back-to-back weddings this weekend, both conveniently located on a ranch 30 minutes from my hometown. I forget how beautiful hay bales are. A lot goes into a wedding: save-the-dates, engagement photos, invitations, bridal showers, ribbon, centerpieces, daisies and roses and lilies, bridesmaid gifts, bridal party photos, slideshows, playlists, first dance, last dance, cake-cutting. A lot. I’ve begun to wonder if we’re a little obsessed. These are traditions, I know, they’re…

Why Do We Love Those Who Don't Love Us Back?

And so begins my February series of tough LOVE questions. February–an appropriate month for love questions, don’t you think? This series was inspired by a friend and coworker who initially suggested I pose this question for the blog: “If your house was burning, and you could only save one family member, who would it be?” I responded with “That’s impossible to answer.” So we boiled down to the nature of the question and realized what she was really asking was why would I, without a moment’s pause, reach…